Spa Night

Our dinner time on the cruise was at 5:45, so we basically had to schedule everything around that if we wanted to eat in the restaurant and not the buffet. So after I won the Ionithermie treatment, we headed back to the room to get ready for dinner. They opened the restaurant late and while we were waiting in line, I found the one woman that single-handedly makes me look like an Amazon.

I’m telling you that woman could look directly into my belly button. I tried to get closer to her but I didn’t want to seem like the tall, creepy Amazon. At least not on the first night.

Once we finally sat down for dinner, we had to speed-eat to make it to our spa appointments. (I’ll do a cruise food post later that will have you all thankful I’m not a food blogger.)

First up was my hair appointment. I will admit, I was really hesitant to make an appointment with a stylist I’ve never been to that worked on a cruise ship, but she instantly put me at ease with her South African accent. It’s like an English accent and an Australian accent got together and made magical word babies.

She probably could have suggested I shave my head and I would have agreed because all her words are the words of angels. That is my  new favorite accent. *melt*

My layers have looked like crap for awhile now. They’re really choppy and look like a 2 year old cut them. It’s like a bowl was put over my head and layers were cut from there. I hate my hair in this picture, can you see what I’m talking about? (You can see the “shelfy” layers in my “Amazon” pic above too.)

The stylist blended them, and I think it looks much better. Can you tell a difference?

If you can’t, you are probably a dude. I don’t even think my husband knows I got my hair done, which isn’t surprising. I once went from platinum blonde to dark brown without telling him and when he saw me, he told me I looked “tanner.”


After my hair appointment, I went to the Ionithermie treatment that I won in the raffle.

This treatment promises you will lose 1 – 8 inches in the area that is treated. I’m always game for losing inches off my ass, so I was looking forward to it. I had no idea what to expect since I had never heard of the treatment before. When I walked into the private spa room, I saw a set-up that looked a lot like this.


Looks safe and non-electrical.

The woman doing the treatment asked me to take off my clothes and put on the “limited edition Victoria’s Secret” underwear that she handed me. Then I had to drape a towel around my shoulders to cover up my “girls.” The underwear were black and looked like hospital booties with leg holes. Someone was a regular jokester. You can’t get those at Victoria’s Secret.

She let me undress alone and when she walked back in, she told me I had a nice physique and that people who need this treatment are never the ones that get it. Hey…I didn’t pick the prize lady. I would have gladly taken the hot stone massage the chick won after me.

After I told her I’d like to concentrate on my thigh area, she took my measurements, had me stand on a towel, and then rubbed some oil over my thighs.

I assure you. It is not.

Then she rubbed some type of lotion on top of the oil. She explained everything as she was doing it, but honestly, it’s hard to pay attention when your butt-naked in front of a stranger. After the rubbing of things on my thighs, she mixed some blue paste together, spread it over a small cushion, stuck some electrodes on the paste, covered up the electrodes with the paste, and then covered the paste with a wet paper towel.

I sat down on the paper towel and she repeated the wet paper towel-paste-electrodes-paste process on top of my thighs. I looked just like this without the meadow or the calm look on my face.


Once she turned on the electrodes, my whole body jerked. It felt like when your foot falls asleep and it tingles like pins and needles, except that I was being shocked with that feeling every 3 seconds for 15 minutes. After the 15 minutes, she removed everything and had me stand to take my measurements again. According to her, I lost a total of 2 1/4 inches from the 3 different measurement areas on each thigh.

I asked her a bunch of questions during the process and found out that the inch loss lasts 24 hours depending on what you eat and drink and that the most inch loss she’s seen in a person is 6 3/4 (on a heavier person). My skin did feel smoother afterwards, but I didn’t notice the inch loss and the smoothness could have been the oil and lotion.

Overall, I have no idea why anyone would want to pay $159 for this treatment when it only lasts up to 24 hours. Maybe for a wedding? It just seems like a way to get money out of women and I can’t even say that it works, so I’m glad it was free. 🙂

Next Bahamas post will be the first stop in Nassau and I swear we get off the ship. See?

Have you ever done any weird spa treatment?  What did you think about it? Scam or worthwhile?


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31 responses to “Spa Night

  1. Hmm…sounds gimmick-y to me. Glad you tried it for free! And I’d sure think if you lost that you’d notice in your pants…and if you didn’t…well then…yep GIMMICK! And 24 hours…bahahahaha!

  2. Ummm that treatment is just freaky. Good question – why the HELL would anyone want it??? Maybe if it lasted 24 years.

    BTW, I like your new bangs.

  3. How tall are you you Amazon, hehe??? I’m 5’10”, so I’m sure I’d be an Amazon next to that woman.

    Never indulged in a “weird” spa treatment…..

  4. I’m with you… what’s the point?

  5. Digging the hair–nice blending.

    I’m not sure why anyone would bother paying for that. It sounds uncomfortable and kinda creepy for something that doesn’t last.

  6. I can definitely tell the difference in the cut– it looks very good! And it looks even BETTER now that I know it was done by someone with a South African accent 😉

    Was this, by any chance, on the Celebration cruise line? I bought a Groupon for one a while ago and have yet to set it up haha

  7. Your hair looks awesome.

    The spa treatment, on the other hand, kind of made me want to make a pinata out of you. Or something with paper mache. But hey, at least you got it for free!!

  8. I like your hair!
    That spa treatment seems like a big rip off! AND weird! I’m glad you got it for free though…

  9. Mz. Teri

    The stylist did an excellent job blending your layers, especially the bangs. In my opinion, most hign-end spa “treatments”, aside from the usual massage, mani/pedi, or hair cut, are a gimmick and a huge waste of money. At least you got to try something different and didn’t have to pay for it though.

  10. It’s not weird, but the deep tissue massage that I decided to get was incredibly painful. I wanted to scream out loud.

  11. Your hair looks great!! I’m hating my layers, too, so I’m hoping to get them fixed at my appt. next weekend.

    That treatment sounds like some odd form of torture to me haha. How random! I don’t think I’d pay that much for something that lasts 24 hours. Even if it was for my wedding!

  12. Yeah, I don’t know if that’s something I’d spend the money on. But I’d be game if it were free! Your hair looks great!

  13. Your hair looks great! I normally just get a spa facial

  14. More than a few years ago I went with some girls from work to one of those seaweed wrap places that also guarantee that you’ll lose inches. It was a joke. A stupid expensive joke. I think the measuring tape was loose at the first measurement and then snug at the second. By the end we were all laughing and making a scene and they couldn’t get us out of there fast enough! Too bad they didn’t boot us BEFORE we paid.
    Glad you enjoyed your cruise and your hair is really cute!!

  15. Katie

    I tried explaining what layers are to my bf once. He didn’t get it.

    And I didn’t realize you were that tall! I’m 5’4 – no amazon for me.

    A coworker was doing those weight loss wraps at her house, but I think it’s crazy. Yes, you may lose some water weight and ‘inches’, but like you said – it comes right back, and your skin is probably smooth from all of the lotion and crap they wrap you in. I’d rather work out for an hour.

  16. Um, I thought I posted a comment to this but couldn’t find it, so in typical stalker fashion, I’m basically going to re-write it. Sorry I’m a creeper. Anyways…
    Bunnypants is the cutest.
    Once, I was getting a hot stone massage and the masseuse totally sneezed on my back. Grossest, least relaxing massage ever.

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  21. andrea

    I bought myself a Shiatsu massage through Groupon…It mentioned something about walking on your back for a deep relaxation. What it failed to mention was that the ENTIRE massage was done with FEET. I do not like feet touching me…it is an irrational fear I have. I laid there for 1 hour (front & back) having feet all over my body. While I was ok at the thought of being clothed & someone walking on my back, I was mortified at the reality of the situation. Talk about tramatized!

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