American Horror Story in Two Minutes (Episode: Murder House)

It’s time to recap Season 1, Episode 3. Here we go:

The episode started out with a flashback to 1983. The (young) maid was making the bed and a man walked in. The man’s all, “lookin’ good hot stuff” and the maid is all “let me just do my job” and the man’s all “that’s not what you said last week” and the maid’s all “that was a mistake” and the man’s all “but I wanna do the horizontal mambo now” and the maid is all “leave me alone.” So the man tries to rape her.

Constance walks in during the attempted rape, tells the man he’s broken her heart for the last time, and then shoots the maid in the eye (now we know why the old maid has a white eye) and kills the man.

Back to present time.

Vivien wants to move out of the house as soon as possible, but Ben informs her that they’ve lost a lot of money through their broker and they can’t afford a new house until they sell the current one. They decide they do have enough money to get a small studio apartment in the meantime, but Violet (the daughter) doesn’t want to move and threatens to run away if they do. Vivien puts the house up for sale anyway.

While the realtor was putting up a for sale sign, Constance walks by the house and sees Tate in the window and waves. When the realtor looks up, she doesn’t see him. (Confirmation that Tate is a ghost, maybe?)

Ben treats a new patient in the house. (Why, it’s Tara’s mom from True Blood!)

Ben tries to pay attention to his patient but she’s super boring and also super depressed at how super boring she is. It doesn’t help that the maid spiked the coffee he was drinking either, so he falls asleep during the session. When he wakes up, he’s in the yard with a shovel next to him and his patient is gone.

Ben goes back inside the house and the young maid tries to lure Ben with her feminine maid-like wiles.

But Ben knows he’s been drugged. He also notices the tape recorder he uses for his sessions is gone. So, he gets pissed, blames the maid, and tries to fire her. But the maid says that Ben was the one that made a pass at her and if she loses her job, she’ll press charges.

While Vivien was working in the garden, a trolley tour of L.A. murder sites stops in front of the house. She decides to take the tour herself to hear what they are saying about the house.

She learns that an unsuccessful doctor performed abortions to make ends meet in the house with the help of his wife in the 1920s. (Enough prepositional phrases for you? Also, can there BE any more murders in this house?) After the story, Vivien notices blood on her pants. She runs inside the house because she’s worried she’s having another miscarriage. Once she gets in the house, she stops bleeding. Hmmmm.

Later on, Ben finds Hayden, the woman he had an affair with, waiting in his home.

(That picture isn’t from the episode, it’s just so you know what she looks like.)

She didn’t get the abortion after all, and she’s moving out to California so Ben can support her. She’s a total nut job and threatens to tell Vivian about the baby. Ben gets her out of the house by making a date to meet and talk with her later.

In the meantime, Ben passes out again (say whaaa?) and when he wakes up, he’s outside snuggling with the shovel again. He also started digging a hole in the yard but he doesn’t remember doing it.

A detective visits Ben to tell him that his boring patient committed suicide and that she had taken his tape recorder. While the cop is over, he sees the young maid. Then, it’s mentioned that women can see a person’s soul and men only see what they want to see. (Now we know why Ben sees the young maid and everyone else sees the old maid.) Also, I hope this is true in real life because that means I can get fat and ugly and it won’t matter.

With all the police stuff going on at the house, Ben forgets his meeting with his other baby-mama. She gets pissed that he didn’t show and comes to the house again to tell Vivian about the baby. That’s when Larry,  the creepy dude with the burned face that warned Ben about the house in the first episode, shows up out of nowhere and hits her in the face with a shovel. Then Larry helps Ben dispose of the body.

(Didn’t make that up, he really asked for $1000 to start his acting career. WTF?)

Good thing Ben’s been passing out and digging holes in the yard already. This works out perfectly for burying bodies!

While digging the hole, Ben and Larry find the remains of someone wearing a maid’s uniform. Seems totally normal to dig a hole and find a grave already there, that’s what I say.

So, Ben and Larry dump the body of the baby-mama in the hole on top of the other remains, cover it up with dirt, then cement, and build the fastest gazebo ever on top of it. Constance and the maid watch from the window and Constance mentions that the maid will never be able to leave now. (Confirmation that the maid is a ghost and bound to the house like Tate, maybe?)


Alright, so I didn’t LOVE this episode. But I did think it was cool that we’re already getting some answers to some of the stuff going on. What did you think?

Past recaps: Pilot, Episode 2


Filed under American Horror Story

26 responses to “American Horror Story in Two Minutes (Episode: Murder House)

  1. I know by all rights I should like this, and I’ve really tried, but I just find this a horribly bad show. It’s more unintentional comedy than anything, but I’ve got plenty of that in my life already. That being said I enjoy your reviews more than the show itself. Bring on Walking Dead.

  2. I agree it was nice to start getting some information…but if the maid is a ghost, it still doesn’t quite answer why everyone sees her as an old lady, when she died as a young lady…hmmm! What does this say about her soul? And what is her deal with taunting Ben, but then saying it was all his fault and she’ll sue? And where does she go Friday – Sunday…if she’s bound to the house? Oh, so many questions! And, yes, did Tate disappear or did he walk away…I mean they panned away from the window, so it’s hard to say…is he a ghost or something else? Or just possessed? Hmm…

    But hey, now we know why in the very first episode there were all those jars w/ baby parts in them in the basement….poor poor babies. And 20 or so victims…were his abortions not successful? Hmm…and…why oh why did the wife of that doctor visit Vivian? Loved how mad she was that the kitchen was so modernized! LOL! Nice. This show has so much going on…and it was helpful this week that they play the same one back to back b/c I missed the first 15 min..and boy that was a lot to miss…glad I got to see it after the rest!

  3. I’m just going to read your recaps instead of watching. Much more efficient this way. But it does sound like a pretty interesting show. I have no attention span for TV lately, though.

  4. There is way too much going on right now. I want them to explain more about the maid. Right now!! And Constance too. And Tate. It’s getting bat shit crazy but there arent enough explanations for me. Sheesh. And then the doctors wife shows up too? Now we have all of these half dead/ghost crazy people walking around. And I’m mad Vivian didnt stay to hear the rest of the story about the murder house. I’m sure more than abortions happened there.

    That baby mama was crazy as shit! I’ll be honest, I was glad when Larry attacked her with that shovel.

  5. Laurie

    Thanks for the recap! I finally got to watch it! It seems so creepy and weird! To me it seems like everyone is a ghost except for the family living in the house. I wonder why the doctor’s wife came back, maybe it has something to do with Vivian’s baby. I can’t wait for next week!

  6. This is the first recap that kind of made sense to me, which actually makes the recap less fun. I want more pregnant yoga leather man scenes! (That is correct, I haven’t actually watched a single episode.)

  7. Elias

    Oh, WOW, that picture with the line about cuddling just killed me. Thanks so much for the verified LOL. Despite the ridiculousness of this show I think it just works so well…the perfect mix of blood, lust, clichés, and references to other horror movies has somehow been achieved. And did you hear about this thing with DirecTV and FOX? I can’t even imagine being a DirecTV customer right now knowing I might lose FX because of the negotiation with FOX. As a DISH customer/employee I’m just glad I don’t have to worry about losing three of my favorite shows (AHS, SOA, and of course, Sunny). Either way I’ve bookmarked this site in hopes you give every episode this same awesome treatment.

    • haha, that’s a lot of pressure but I’ll see if I can keep up the awesome. I didn’t hear about DirecTV and Fox but I know Fox and Brighthouse had something similar not long ago, so I don’t think it will fly. At least, I hope not. I love me some Sunny too. And Workaholics. 🙂

  8. Andrea

    Just watched this episode…has anyone pointed out that you & the doctor’s wife could be sisters? Kind of an uncanny resemblance.

  9. My husband is living in FL right now and I have been to chicken to watch this show. 🙂 I think Im going to check it out though.

  10. I love how all the old characters from True Blood are showing up in AHS. The show is definitely unique and entertaining. Not sure how long they can keep it going, but my wife and I are hooked.

    Hey what do you use to create the speech bubbles in your pictures? Your recaps are hilarious. I especially like the part where you summed up the dialogue between Constance’s husband and the made.

    One thing I don’t get is, if the made died as a young woman, and she’s a ghost, why did she age? While Tate (who we assume is a ghost) is still a teen. Maybe the maid being older is just some poetic license. Maybe her appearing older is to stress how long she has been tied to the house, and/or she is an old soul.

    • Thank you! And good question about the maid. Maybe everyone sees the stereotype for that kind of character. A woman might see an old maid and someone who is a troublemaker might appear as a teen instead of someone older? Now I’m curious if they’ll explain that at some point. I use Picnik for the graphics. It’s free!

  11. Mz. Teri

    I just watched this episode last night. Reading your recap afterward helps me clarify some thoughts I had about what’s happening. Dylan McDermott’s character has one F’d up life!!!

    One thing I’m wondering about is whether the young baby-mama (Hayden?) will start haunting the house now as well since she’s dead and buried in the back yard. It seemed a bit too convenient and quick that they killed that character off without a lot of drama to the family.

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