Offensive Fruit

Is there a Guinness Record for getting the most people in a picture by extending your arm? Because if there’s not, I think there should be. And I think it should go to me.


Last night, Michelle picked me up and we headed downtown to meet up with our blogger friends in celebration of Momjovi’s and Victoria’s birthday.

First, we had dinner at Ceviché where I failed to take a picture of anything I ate and then tried to ruin other people’s pictures because if I can’t have pictures…neither can anyone else.

(Picture stolen from Michelle)

Ceviché is a tapas restaurant, so everything on the menu is appetizer size. We all shared a bunch of different plates and everyone (except me) shared a pitcher of sangria.

(Me, Katy, and Momjovi)

I ordered my current favorite – Crowne and Diet Coke with lime. I’m pretty sure I offended the waiter with that order because when he brought the drink, he told me – for 5 minutes – that Canadians (?) think it’s rude to put fruit in Crowne (a Canadian whiskey). I made sure to order 2 more just like it.

After defiling drinks with fruit at Ceviche, we headed over to Ember where Michelle and I probably offended someone in Mexico by ordering lemon with our Patron instead of lime.

(From the left – Victoria, Andrea, Me, Michelle, and Momjovi)

Why does Windows Live Writer underline “Momjovi” like it’s spelled wrong? That’s a real word. Anyway, we hung out at Ember for awhile until we decided to move on.

     (Picture stolen from Michelle)

I got a text from hubs that he was downtown with our friend Klainie. So, we left Ember and walked about 80 miles to The Abbey where they were hanging out.

(Yep, Michelle’s picture again)

Let me just say, you know you talk about blogs too much to your husband when you have to introduce people as “Momjovi” or the “Running Peanut” instead of using their real names.

By the time we got to The Abbey, I was done with shots and on to water, but Klainie and hubs had a shot that they really seemed to enjoy. And by enjoy, I mean not enjoy at all.

We stayed at The Abbey for a little while but it was getting late and we were all getting tired, so most of us called it a night. I had a great time and don’t get to see those ladies often enough.

On the way home, hubs, Klainie, and I stopped at Pom Pom’s, a teahouse and café that specializes in making food as unhealthy and delicious as possible.

(That’s Klainie’s “Danny” – a Potato Pancake with Ginger Cranberry Chutney, Almonds, Brie, Red Onions & Apples)

I had “The Low Rider” sandwich with avocado, black beans, Mexican salsa, turkey & cream cheese. Sounded good, but it was terrible so I only ate half. And only because I was starving. When we finally got home, I attacked a box of Kellogg’s Krave cereal. Have you tried that before? Because I’m warning you now…don’t do it. It’s impossible to stop eating.

Today, I’ve spent most of the day moping on the couch regretting everything I ate and drank last night. I have a gift where I can eat well all week and then I eat and drink like the world is ending on the weekends. I wouldn’t mind if it were an occasional thing. But it’s not. It’s an every weekend thing. A 7 mile treadmill run made me feel better, but now I’m back to moping and searching the couch for any uneaten cereal I might have missed last night.


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40 responses to “Offensive Fruit

  1. They get OFFENDED? Ugh… they need to get over that jazz. I’m bout ta go get me some Krave.

  2. Katie G

    I gave Pom-Pom’s several chances when I worked next door to them, but they sucked every. single. time–my order was constantly screwed up even for the simplest things. The final straw was when I ordered a sandwich with avocado, which was so black I could have tarred the parking lot. Never again! (shakes fists at sky)

  3. Fruit in your whiskey? *slow, disbelieving head shake* That’s just wrong, even if it just Canadian Club. Then again, that still makes you more manly than Rob. Wait, that was supposed to sound more complimentary. I’ll stop now.

  4. Looks like a fun weekend! And there you go again…making fun and offending us Canadians yet again! Just leave our whiskey alone…we don’t have that much to offer…besides oil, fresh water, maple syrup and the butt of jokes. Haha 🙂

  5. jane

    Why is jseverdayfashion hidden in the back? You can’t even see what she’s wearing…is it proprietary? Did she make you sign a waiver so you can only see it on her blog?

  6. You never cease to make me laugh. Your blog is one of my absolute favorites. This deployment is sucking the life out of me and I’ve been so down lately but this post had me laughing 🙂 Thanks.

  7. Carrie

    I love reading your blogs! You have a great sense is humor! Is that cereal real? Wow gotta find me some!;) thanks for sharing your stories!

  8. Woah, I have never seen Krave, but I’m going to go find some RIGHT NOW. That sounds amazing!

  9. Pingback: Things I Learned This Weekend

  10. My recovery time after a night drinking is definitely not what it used to be. I didn’t even know Crowne was Canadian. Is that offensive?

  11. I found this link about how to drink tequila… Being that I’ve never been to Mexico…other than Mexico in Disney…in their tequila bar they will serve your tequila shot w/ the that sagrita and it really is better that way! Of course, this article says in the US either a lime or a lemon is acceptable! Since, off and on having w/ a lemon, I think I prefer the lemon, if needed.

    Impressive on the 8 glasses of water at night to combat the hangover. I just can’t drink that much! If I could, then I’d be a hangover free gal, too…alas…I just keep my drinking to a minimum.

    That picture with all of you is quite impressive! You’ve got SKILLZ!

  12. Wow that “Danny” looked so fattening and bad int he picture but the explaination it sounds so healthy and delicious!!!
    and you look adorable as always!

    • Thank you :-) And yes! I thought that too. Everything sounded pretty healthy until they put it in front of you and you realize you could’ve just eaten a burger.


  13. That’s a pancake? Looked like a bunless burger to me.

    We definitely need to see each other more often. Perhaps that would happen if we’d actually plan the blogger meetups we promised to do. Ha!

  14. That Klainie sandwich looks like the best drunk food ever. A few weeks ago when I got nice and hammered, I went from fries/bread/eggs to Fruity Pebbles. The (drunk) heart wants what the heart wants!

  15. Ew, if Krave tastes anything like coco puffs, count me out. Gross! Throw some PB Captain Crunch my way!

  16. Looks like a fabulous night! And hey, I have that exact same gift! All salads and almonds Monday-Friday at 5pm, but anything goes from then on. It’s often NOT pretty!

  17. My problem is I always refer to bloggers by their real names so I feel the need to quickly add “you know, a blogger I read” otherwise my husband thinks I’m talking about friends of mine he should know. lol

  18. Paula, this is one of my favorite all time posts ever by you. And why the heck does the Canadian waiter care what you order to drink in a tapas place? Huh? Label me confused.

  19. So jealous of you Orlandoians and your blogger meetups!
    Yes, you win at self-portraits. Hands down. I am impressed.
    And I am Canadian, and I love my Crown Royal with diet coke and LIME! That waiter clearly does not know what he’s talking about. You tell him you know a Canadian who can debunk his myth. Everyone’s an expert, I tell ya…

    And I have never heard of a Danny before, but I want one immediately.

  20. You look gorgeous in that first picture. LOVE it! And, I just saw Krave at the store this week, and it appears it will need to be making its way into my cart. Yum!

  21. I really feel like you should run the La Jolla Half marathon and party with me after (and before).

  22. I love that the Krave box says “Fiber & Whole Grain.” That justifies everything.

  23. kned

    I had the “Dragon Lady” not the “Danny!” Geesh. But the description sounds kinda the same?’ You also forgot to mention my sadness at the lack of trannies.
    And did you see, someone up there called it a Klainie sandwich, hehe. I’m not sure that’s been invented yet. 🙂

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