By the Numbers

Oh hai random post. It’s been awhile. I have no cohesive thoughts so this is all I’m mentally capable of today. I’m going to blame the lack of Diet Coke.

1. I went to bed the other night and about a half hour into my sleep I was jolted awake by a weird sound that I thought was someone coming into the window. I even got up and checked a couple windows to be sure. If there’s anything that freaks me out in the most irrational way, it’s home invasions. All of my apartments in the past have been on upper floors because of this reason. So of course, there was nothing there and I lied awake freaking out at every little sound I heard for the next half hour until I heard it again.

It was one, singular snore from hubs.

Now I’m all on edge when I go to bed and I think I hear things every night because of one false alarm. So of course I’m back to keeping my cell phone on my nightstand in case I need to make an emergency call while hiding behind my clothes in the closet. I’m sure I can thank watching too many horror movies for this one.

2. Speaking of horror movies, Hubs and I watched The Devil Inside this weekend.

That blind nun was in the movie for maybe 5 seconds. How she made the poster is beyond me.

I don’t normally warn people away from movies. Ok, yes I do. But this movie was total crap. It wasn’t scary or chilling. The ending was abrupt and didn’t resolve anything. Everything was a big, stinky piece of crap. The only redeeming quality is that it was less than 90 minutes long so I didn’t have to waste Schindler’s-Listian time on it.

3. What is happening here?

I know a lot of people don’t like Kristen Stewart, but that just makes me want to be her friend.

4. My job is in a state of flux right now because the contract I’m on is ending. So I took a moment today to clean all the porn off my computer just in case, when I ran across the first picture ever taken of Michelle and I. (< —– Disclaimer: That is a joke. All my porn is at home.)

You know, it just started with circles on my co-workers faces to be respectful of their privacy but then it got out of hand.

So, yeah. That is the start of me and Michelle’s budding love. Little did we know we’d end up running all our races together and learning so much about each others poop. (Ok, maybe she just learned about mine.)

5. I only had 4 things to talk about today but that seems so uneven. So I will leave you with John Hamm to even things out.



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20 responses to “By the Numbers

  1. Um, I’m kinda obsessed with that picture of KStew. I don’t hate her like some people do. I figure if my boyfriend Robert has found enough to more than tolerate her, she must not be that bad. Plus I thought she was pretty good in The Runaways. But that picture is just all sorts of awesome. God I love Chris Hemsworth. I just watched a clip of the whole Snow White cast reading excepts from “50 Shades.” It’s pretty hilarious, especially Charlize.

    And the picture of you and Michelle is pretty much my favorite picture of all time now.

    • Paula

      Wait, I thought he was my boyfriend? That two-timer! I like her in everything but the Twilights. Adventureland was really good too. You’re gonna have to send me that clip.

  2. Linsay

    Loved the random post! I too have been plagued by the night time scaries-so don’t feel bad. I love your blog because you’re so candid, down to earth, and you seem like a lot of fun. I am going to go now before I cement a scary stalker status.

  3. I hate waking up like that. I totally overthink home invasion and worry about it way too much!

  4. Wait, what? You quit DC? How dare you! Haha only kidding. Tell me how you did it so I can too.

    Home invasions are definitely top of my fear list. I always think of places to hid, but unfortunately we don’t have a safe room

    • Paula

      I haven’t quit yet. Last week was one a day (down from 3 or 4?), this week so far is one every other day. I’m easing delicious DC out of my life. And then all artificial sweeteners. They are terrible for your bones and I’m getting old so I’m trying not to be a hunch-backed old lady.

  5. Kailey

    glad to know that I am not the only one who freaks out when I hear something “move” in the middle of the night. I get so jumpy…

  6. When I lived alone, I had to live on the 2nd floor also, but odd or not…living on the 2nd floor I still had my apartment broken into while at work and my camera and all gold jewelry stolen. So, floor level doesn’t matter when they use the front door. Of course, yes that made me freak OUT when our interesting roommates one day some years ago left the front door open and I woke up for work … and right I FREAKED OUT. So, yep living on the first floor if I hear it I freak a bit…until I figure it out.

    And, I LOVE those circles that got out of control. LOVE.
    And…ha…Kristen Stewart…where and who is she doing that to?

    • Paula

      Her Snow White and the Huntsmen co-stars – Charlize Theron and Chris Hemsworth.
      Oh and I know they can come in the front door, but that’s only one area I need to watch. On the ground floor you have to worry about all the windows too. 😉

  7. That K-stew photo is freaky. Why is she so much smaller than them? I mean, I get that she’s crouching down, but she’s still freakishly small. Or they’re freakishly tall. Either way. But her flipping them off and the face is hilarious, so I’ll give you that.

    • Paula

      She is much smaller! He’s like 6’4″ and Charlize is 5’10” without heels. Kstew is like 5’6″. She’s tiny. Now you know so when you meet her in person you don’t have to point out how short she is in your first sentence to her. 😉

  8. This is all so random, but I’m just happy you included photos of Chris Hemsworth and John Hamm. And of course, you and Michelle.

  9. julie

    I too am super freaked out by the thought of a home invasion. Every noise I hear I question and I prefer the windows open at night because I hear better if someone is outside my window or if there is a car is running (you know because someone else is planning on robbing me – they need a getaway car). Glad I’m not the only crazy.

    • Paula

      OMG, hilarious! I keep my cell phone by the bed in case they cut the phone lines outside the house. Because that happens in every movie so it’s totally gonna happen to me.

      • julie

        Oh yeah, the cell phone is a given. You’d be crazy NOT to sleep with it next to you. Oh, and make sure your bed is clear underneath in case you need to hide under it.

  10. Trust me, I won’t be watching any blind nun movies in the near future. I can’t handle scary flicks. I’d be waking up in the middle of the night thinking nuns were crashing through my window!

  11. Sarah S

    Kristen Stewart is just so awkward, but I kind of like her more after seeing that picture. And I am incredibly jumpy at night. It’s sort of a problem considering I have to get up with the baby and then get startled by a dog/a leaf/air.

  12. Amber K

    I am absolutely freaked out by the idea of a home invasion. I love living on the very top floor of my building, but it still keeps me up at night sometimes. Why don’t all of the doors in an apartment come with locks? Geez.

  13. Stefanie

    I think being friends with Kirsten would involve more bitch face than I could humanly handle.

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