American Horror Story Asylum in Two Minutes (Episode: Welcome to Briarcliff)

American Horror Story is back! That means, it’s time to recap season 2, episode 1.

If you’ve been reading for awhile, you know I recapped each episode of season 1, so I thought I would keep up the tradition. Plus, I feel like I’d really disappoint this girl if I didn’t, so let’s do this.

This year we have a completely different storyline, but we have a lot of the same actors from season 1 playing different characters. So if you recognize some faces, you are not going crazy. OR ARE YOU? This season does take place in an asylum after all.

Present Time

The episode starts out with Mr. Maroon 5 (Adam LeFine Levine) and his new bride walking through the woods. They’re spending their honeymoon checking out the 12 most haunted places and having sex in them, of course. Maroon 5 knows how to woo the ladies.

Enter the asylum.

The asylum is a broken down, abandoned, old building best known for housing the serial killer, Bloody Face.

Maroon 5 and his wife are having sex in the asylum when they hear something strange. When they check it out, Maroon 5 ends up losing an arm by sticking it somewhere it didn’t belong. It’s all fun and games till you lose an arm.


Tate from season 1 is now playing Kit Walker, a gas station attendant with a Boston-type accent who’s secretly married to a black girl (frowned upon during that time). He’s also looking 50% less do-able than last season. Unfortunate.

Kit is home when sees a bright light outside and thinks it’s some racist guys that were giving him a hard time earlier at the gas station. It’s not. It’s some type of violent alien invasion. < — not joking

During the invasion, we see flashes of Kit being probed (some aliens have all the luck) and we find out that Kit’s wife becomes an unfortunate casualty.

Kit is accused of killing his wife (skinning her, actually) along with a bunch of other women, and is brought to the asylum. He’s the infamous Bloody Face! Only he maintains his innocence.

The asylum has all sorts of crazies in it. There’s this vision who killed her sister’s baby and cut off it’s ears.

There’s Chloë Sevigny, who wants to have sex with everyone.

And there’s Grace, who is accused of chopping up her family but says she’s not guilty. Or crazy. Don’t they all say that? Oh, Grace is also trying to help Kit stay out of trouble in the asylum.

Lily Rabe plays Sister Mary Eunice. Remember she played the doctor’s wife last season? Guess what she does this season?

She seems to be a good person (so far) and looks for acceptance from Sister Jude because she’s terrified of her.

Sister Jude (Constance from last season) is the head nun in the asylum.

She’s super bitchy, secretly wears a sexy red nightie underneath her robe, and daydreams about getting biblical with the Monsignor, played by Joseph Fiennes.

Enter Sarah Paulson who plays Lana Winters (she was the psychic last season). She’s a reporter who lives with her lesbian-third-grade-teacher-lover (also frowned upon during that time). She wants to write a breakthrough story about the asylum but lies to Sister Jude about her intentions.

Sister Jude is not amused.

Lana, with the help of Sister Mary Eunice, snoops around the asylum one night trying to get the inside scoop. Sister Jude shows up, so Lana hides from her in an open cell. #smart   Just when Lana thinks she’s safe, she’s attacked by…something? Someone? Who knows. All I do know is that she woke up as the asylum’s newest patient.

When Lana tells Sister Jude that he has people that will be looking for her, we flash to Lana’s teacher-lover signing the committment papers because of some threats Sister Jude made that I don’t quite understand.

Sister Jude doesn’t just hate Lana. She also despises the new asylum doctor. He doesn’t take any of her crap and she’s super suspicious of him because four people have gone missing since he arrived. (I guess now she has morals?) Incidentally, we also know that the doctor has been feeding something (presumably inhuman) that lives in the asylum some curious looking meat. Mmm…missing patients taste like chicken.

Speaking of the evil doctor, he grabs Kit from his cell to experiment on his “evil” mind all Clockwork Orange style.

That’s when he notices something implanted in his neck.

When the doctor pulls it out, the chip grows little spider legs and runs off. Alien technology in 1964 FTW!

Present Time

Eventually we get back to present time where Maroon 5’s wife (who happens to be Channing Tatum’s wife in real life) is trying to get help but realizes that all the doors to the asylum are now locked. In the last scene, we see some The Hills Have Eyes type weirdos looking rather hungry as they attack her.


This episode was so jam-packed with information, that I’m not sure I loved it. The whole alien storyline along with the freaky asylum monster-things that eat humans seem like a weird mix. The season 1 premiere was definitely better in my opinion, but I’m going to stick with it for a bit and see where it goes.

What did you think, besides “Channing Tatum is married?”

Season 1 recaps: Pilot, Episode 2, Episode 3, Episode 4, Episode 5, Episode 6, Episode 7, Episode 8, Episode 9, Episode 10, Episode 11, Episode 12


Filed under American Horror Story

25 responses to “American Horror Story Asylum in Two Minutes (Episode: Welcome to Briarcliff)

  1. Since we do not have cable, and they are not putting the show on their website, I was unable to view. I am not ruined by spoilers, so I liked reading this and learning about what’s going on. Very informative indeed! 🙂
    I have to agree that its a bit weird to have aliens and a weird monster thing…but its all horror! I never gave much thought to Channing Tatum being married…hah. She is pretty darn cute! I did watch the first 5 minutes online up to wear Adam gets his arm chewed at..and then it ended. Bummer he’s only a guest spot!

  2. I’m so excited! I don’t have cable either (it’s hard being cheap), but I really do suspect the show will never be as funny as your recaps. It sounds like this season has waaaay too much going on. So far the aliens sound a little unnecessary. I hope they come back to sex-crazed Chloe Sevigny. That sounds promising. Thanks for the recap!

    • Paula

      She was only listed as a “special guest star” and not a cast member, so I’m wondering how long she’s gonna live. Hopefully long enough to bed some crazies. 🙂

  3. Michelle

    I loved it!! I actually think I liked this better then last year. I just can’t wait for my lovah Zachrey Quinto to show up.

    Other thoughts: I need to know how they decided Kit was bloodyface, I think Sister Euince is Sister Jude’s daughter and Jessica Lange does a wicked Boston accent. Overall I’m stoked for episode 2!

    • Paula

      Yes! There’s definitely something we don’t know about Kit. You think they would do that with Jessica Lange’s character two seasons in a row? Kinda like how Tate ended up being her son last season? Seems like an obvious way to go if she has a secret child again.
      I totally agree about the accent! She’s so amazing in general.

  4. Tiffany

    There was A LOT going on but in definitely going to give it a try. Excited to see you are doing your AHS recaps again. They were hilarious last season!

  5. Britney

    I’m so glad that you’re doing this again! Even though I watch the episodes, I still come here for recaps because yours are the best and absolutely funniest. I also have a theory based off of what other people are saying that Kit could possibly be hallucinating/imagining the aliens, because those scenes seem strangely like the ones with the doctor, and when the doctor came to see him, the show flashed back to the aliens and then to the doctor again (it was quick). That was long, wow, but what do you think?

    -Britney (aka Huge AHS/Evan Peters Fangirl)

    • Paula

      Thank you! That’s an interesting theory. That way they keep Kit the bad guy but keep us fangirl’s loving him because we think he might be innocent (kinda like last season).

    • Michelle D

      I’m so happy I found your blog (via Cely’s). None of my friends are watching and I’ve been dying to discuss. 🙂 Britney, I love your theory. I thought the alien stuff seemed totally random and useless but that would be brilliant. So you think that the doctor’s tinkering caused him to believe it all happened? Had not thought of that. I think this year’s characters are even more twisted if that’s possible. And killer or not, I love me some Evan!

      • Paula

        You came to the right place! I love talking about this show. I still have yet to see the second episode. That will happen tomorrow.
        Perhaps we can start a 12 step group: women and the fictional killers they love.

  6. Mz. Teri

    There really was a lot going on in the season premier, but definitely kept my attention. It is one messed up show though. What kind of mind must one have to come up with the ideas and storylines for this show?

    I predict that after a few seasons of AHS, Universal Studios will buy the rights for use of the show themes to create new houses for HHN. 😀

  7. Not entirely thrilled about the inclusion of aliens — if they ARE aliens — and microchip implants, or any other sci-fi trappings. Last season worked so well because it was such a personal story. This seems… bigger, more characters, more expansive, even if it’s contained within a mental hospital.

    On the other hand, it WORKED. Other than Lana’s illogical late-night snooping that got her committed, the story was well-told, utterly creepy, and wonderfully acted. As always, Jessica Lange couldn’t be sexier if she tried, even in nun habits.

    I don’t know if you walk Boardwalk Empire, but it seems James Cromwell walked off the AHS set and onto BE’s, playing a similarly freaky dude (we watched both shows back-to-back). If he showed up on Homeland as well, I might have had a Geekjoy Seizure!

    • Paula

      LMAO. Geekjoy Seizure might be my new favorite saying ever. Once things come together more, I’m sure it will get better. But yes, I totally agree it seems too “big” now.
      I don’t watch BE but my mom looooves it. I’m sure I’ll catch it from the beginning one day. I’m just starting Sons of Anarchy now so I will have no social life for a little while.

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  10. Jackie Smith

    If my priest looked like Joseph Fiennes, I’d be slutting it up, too.

    Excited for this season!

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  12. Julian Restrepo

    I love these recapps

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