By the Numbers

I feel like I’m slacking on the random posts lately, so here we go.

1. I’m running the Orlando Half Marathon tomorrow.

I don’t expect to run a PR but I’d at least like the option for the race to not suck. Thanks mother nature, for sucking the life blood and Christmas spirit out of me. If anyone needs me, I’ll be the beet-red, sweaty one at the end blaming the weather for my finish time.

2. I bought Jon Hamm some mineral chews. Of course, he only eats the frosting off the top and leaves the rest.

I know dogs start to resemble their owners but is it possible for hamsters too? I mean, his only loves are running on a wheel and eating frosting. I’m feeling a kinship here.

4. Hubs and I have taken to making Pants snuggle with us each night in hopes that she’ll learn to love being held.

When we sit with her, she’s probably a six instead of her normal ten on the Snuggle Hate Scale so we’re hoping she’ll end up loving it. Anyway, holding her creates this furnado that swirls around my mouth and lips that makes it hard to keep holding her. Wiping my face with my hands or sleeve makes it 10x worse because her fur sticks to everything. It’s like mass-shedding is her natural defense mechanism against love.

4.  If you’ve been reading awhile, you may notice I’m not doing the American Horror Story recaps this year.

I’m definitely still watching and I super love it this season. I’ve even been converted to an Emma Roberts fan, who I should naturally hate because she’s dating Evan Peters in real life, and that really detracts from me pretending he’s my boyfriend.

5. Hubs and I are almost done with the last season of Spartacus. We’re liking it though I don’t think it’s as good as the first seasons. Now. I don’t want to seem ungrateful for all the muscles and six-pack abs and full frontal man-nudity. I’m grateful. I am. But do 90% of the sex scenes realllly have to involve this guy?

I don’t want to say that I find him unattractive but…ok, yes I do. Surely you could get someone else willing to sign that every episode nudity clause.

Other options for consideration:

6. A new person started at work last week. She sits on the other side of me, but she never leaves her cube so I’m very familiar with the back of her head. Anyway, I saw her face this morning so I decided to introduce myself and her first words to me were, “Oh, I didn’t expect you to look like that.”

7. I meant to post this picture awhile back but forgot. This booklet was left on my front door about a month ago.

I’d like to emphasize something.

Man. Nothing goes together quite like some horns, lightning, and lions.


That’s it for me today. I hope everyone has a good weekend. If someone could send me some Winter weather, I’d appreciate it.


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24 responses to “By the Numbers

  1. Connie

    Furnado!! Hahahaha! I can’t stop laughing!!! I just love your blog so much.

    P.S. Have a great race tomorrow :). Run like a furnado!

  2. Oh, I hear ya on this weather…geez…give me a chill, please…then I can feel more like Christmas, too.
    Yes, I sure noticed you aren’t doing recaps…I can’t watch the show, due to not having cable, so that got me through last season. No worries though, I have every full intention of watching this season at some point. Witches interest me more than the insane asylum. 😉
    Oh wow…good to know about Spartacus, and I’d have to agree…ANYONE ELSE! Sheesh.
    I actually…uh…actually…wouldn’t know what to say to that co-worker….but, what did you think I looked like? Wait, I might not want to know. Well, perhaps you don’t look like I thought, either? 😉 Of course, you two could become best friends in a matter of time…like if she loves Peeps and Cupcakes.
    Lastly, what is that crazy booklet even about? Lightning, lions, and horns, oh my!

    • And, furnados happen when I take my cat to the vet. Fur everywhere in the vet’s office…just glad it doesn’t stick all over like your bunny’s fur…hehe. But, she’s still so irresistibly cute that you’ll continue to hold her! And, love her, and squeeze her…

  3. Well Paula, remember when you heard my voice for the first time and you said “Oh, I expected you to sound more like a teenybopper” ? Yeah.

    Thanks for warming up Pants for me! I will be snuggling the shit out of her next time I see her, and she better like it! I don’t care if she sheds allllll over me. She looks so cute in Fabian’s arms. I love their love.

    • Paula

      Touche. And to be fair, you have a very adult voice! I would pick you to narrate my life.

      I’m am soooo warming her up for you. Get ready for ALL THE SNUGGLES!

  4. Oh and good luck tomorrow obviously! Don’t die!

  5. Sara

    I know exactly what you mean by furnados. I use a FURminator on my cats and I see they have one for small animals: They are a bit pricey but totally worth it!

    I love that Colin Farrell gif. I think it’s from In Bruges which is an awesome movie.

  6. Rachael @ Happy Healthy Runner

    Hahaha this whole post made me laugh out loud, particularly the lion, horn, lightning combo. Hope you’re having a wonderful Friday 🙂

  7. Rob Runs

    I think that’s my dog’s defense mechanism too when he’s freaked out. I took him to the vet and he magically became twice his size (he’s already 100 pounds, so…) then somehow forcibly ejected his fur EVERYWHERE. I have never seen so many dog hair tumbleweeds form so quickly. So when we left he ended up looking half his size and I swear he actually lost 10 pounds of fur on my pants.

  8. This was awesome!!!!

    I would have said the same thing back to your coworker… I didn’t know you HAD a face! BAM!

  9. Hilarious post, as always. You know, I’m doing the Palm Beaches Half on Sunday, and the low is going to be 72 degrees with a high of 83. I don’t turn red but I’ll join you in the Blotchy Sweaty Finish Line Mess Brigade… which coincidentally was the title of my favorite Eddie Rabbitt album.

    Your coworker situation reminded me of something: have you ever worked with (or lived next to) someone for so long that you see them every day, maybe small-talk once in awhile, possibly sharing some kind of soy product once in a blue moon, whatever… but for some reason you just NEVER learn what their name is? To the point where it’s just too far along to ask them (or ask anyone who knows them) because then you just look like an Intellectual Piltdown Man… but they know YOURS?

    This happens to me all the time. I must stop talking to random people. Anyway I like this season of AHS a lot but I’m not as… possessive of it as I was the past 2. Even with Angela Bassett being all kinds of hotsauce 😦

    • Paula

      You just described my next door neighbor. Man, he always uses my name and I feel like an ass that I can’t remember his. Thanks for reminding me of feeling like an ass. Nice job.

      Good luck on your race! I’ll be sleeping in that morning. 🙂

      • Amber K

        I have a neighbor like that. She knows both my husband’s and my name, but we aren’t sure of hers. At least we both know what letter it starts with?

  10. I will take your warm weather and trade you for the deep freeze we are currently in. The high for today was -29C…..not +29, -29C!!! So cold. Good luck this weekend though 🙂

    • Paula

      I did not ask for a deep freeze trade. Just “Winter” weather. Sheesh. Gotta get specific with you Canadians. I will take anywhere from 30-40F. 🙂

  11. UM that lion thing is intense. and hilarious of course.
    Ok Pants looks like she is enjoying her snuggle there. It is funny she has bunny anxiety!

  12. Pam

    Good luck tomorrow!! You Fuelstripping it up?

  13. Jenny

    When I was in the military I went to a conference where I met many people I had only previously talked to on the phone. One guy said, “Oh! I expected you to be tall and blonde.” (I’m short and brunette.) Rude.
    Good luck tomorrow!! 🙂 Will try to send you some of our cold air. Let me know if you’d like snow too because I’ll send that as well. 😉

  14. It’s a nice, Christmasy 80 degrees up in Georgia, so I feel your pain (tomorrow is my long run day). Good luck on your half!

    I can’t even talk about Emma Roberts. Evan Peters deserves better.


    I think number six is hilarious!!

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