Three Months Later

Summary: Lots of words. Not a lot of pictures.

It’s been awhile. Again. I’d like to say I’m back because life has slowed down a bit, and maybe I am. But also, maybe I’m not. Here’s what’s been going on and (spoiler alert), it’s been a lot of steamy dook. But it’s slowly getting better.

I deferred both of my races this year which is probably no surprise given that I posted about not feeling them and then life went downhill in more ways than one. So now, I will be running those halves in January and March next year. I have some time before training needs to start which is good because summer is here and that also makes me not feel running.

The steamy dook I was referring to started toward the end of my semester (Novemberish) last year. Somewhere in there, school started majorly stressing me out. Taking two graduate classes and working full time while still trying to have a social life, do chores, take care of Pants, and not completely ignore my husband is hard. My semesters can go either way. I’ve taken two classes at a time and thought, “This is it? How am I getting credit for this!” or they are like my last two semesters where I have no idea how I will ever get through them without a breakdown.

Around this time, I started losing a good amount weight without trying. If you know me at all, I’m always trying and never losing. So probably not trying that hard.  When the weight started coming off, I thought I was doing something right! But looking back, it was just stress. Which, duh Paula, you posted about being really itchy for over a month, barely sleeping because of it, and finally going to the doctor, just to find out it was stress symptoms. Once my semester ended, things started to get a little better. But then I found out my brother was diagnosed with terminal cancer mid-December and things weren’t better anymore.

On December 31, I went on a cruise to Mexico with some great friends which was such a fun getaway but still peppered with thoughts of, “Should I even be here when I’m so worried about my brother?” While writing this, I realized that I didn’t mention the cruise on the blog, which is a shame because we saw some awesome things and had an awesome time, and there was lots to talk about. Plus, I was still stress-skinny, so even though I was miserable on the inside, I looked great! I got the see the Chichen Itza pyramids and live my life dream of going to a swim-up bar.

The Spring semester started and it was probably the worst of them all. I intentionally took only one class with group work (my program is mostly group work) because group work can be stressful. You know how you sometimes have those shitty co-workers that can’t do their job and make your job harder? That’s also the problem with school group work. I had two other people in my group – one who was great and one who wasn’t. The “wasn’t” almost put me over the edge because she could never understand anything, never do her work correctly, and was full of excuses why which generally involved blaming anyone but herself (including me). I have text messages from her that are just unbelievable.

Suffice to say, I have never experienced anything like it before. This was coupled with constant worry about my brother and a project at work that was driving me insane. Imagine a customer that hates everything that your company does and constantly asks for it to be redone in a slightly different way that causes a ton of rework. So for a full year and a half, I made zero forward progress because the client kept going back to square one and therefore, so did everyone else. It was maddening. So I dealt with that at work all day, came home and dealt with my two stressful classes, and then worried all night and day about my brother and how much it sucked to be so far away from him. This led to a stress smorgasbord, if you will, and resulted in me breaking out in full body hives on the day I was supposed to get on a plane to see my brother. Which incidentally, that flight was cancelled, and caused me even more stress because no one knew how much time he had left.

My work let me work remotely from California for a month so I could be near my family, which I’m really grateful for. I was relieved there wasn’t a billion states between my family and I anymore (cue Tom Hanks explaining to his son how far Seattle is from NYC in Sleepless in Seattle), but that was still an extremely stressful situation in itself. I’m not complaining and wouldn’t change it but it is what it is.

Fast forward to today – I’m on a different project at work (FINALLY), my classes ended a couple weeks ago (the most deserved A’s I’ve ever gotten), and  while I’m still struggling with losing one of my favorite people on the planet, there’s a part of me that is at peace because he is. This has of course led to me gaining all that weight back (another, different stress!), and my running taking the fast train to Suck Town.

So that’s what’s been happening and I’m kinda decompressing from all that. I just finished Felicia Day’s book You’re Never Weird on the Internet. It’s SO GOOD and it inspired me to pick back up here because it’s something I enjoy. So hopefully I’ll have more, and possibly non-complainy things to talk about in the next couple weeks.




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4 responses to “Three Months Later

  1. Melissa

    I’m glad you’re blogging again! It’s good to hear your voice, if you know what I mean 🙂 For what it’s worth, I think you are doing a great job adulting in the face of adversity! ❤ U!

  2. I have also missed your blogging voice! And agree you are doing a bang-up job adulting despite all the stressful situations. I knew about these things but even in emails and stuff you still have your humour so it’s hard to tell how someone is really doing. I’m glad things are looking up. I honestly can’t imagine doing the school stuff while working full time AND trying to fit in leisure and partying. Serious kudos to you. HURRAH for your semester being over!!!
    Good times are ahead for you, pal!

  3. Oh and I LOVED that book!!! It rejuvenated me for blogging too!

  4. Verlin

    So glad to see you pop up in my feed, and I’m hoping your biggest stress in the coming months relates to shoe choices (which I look forward to hearing about). Take care of yourself!

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