It’s time to recap Season 1, Episode 3. Here we go:
The episode started out with a flashback to 1983. The (young) maid was making the bed and a man walked in. The man’s all, “lookin’ good hot stuff” and the maid is all “let me just do my job” and the man’s all “that’s not what you said last week” and the maid’s all “that was a mistake” and the man’s all “but I wanna do the horizontal mambo now” and the maid is all “leave me alone.” So the man tries to rape her.
Constance walks in during the attempted rape, tells the man he’s broken her heart for the last time, and then shoots the maid in the eye (now we know why the old maid has a white eye) and kills the man.
Back to present time.
Vivien wants to move out of the house as soon as possible, but Ben informs her that they’ve lost a lot of money through their broker and they can’t afford a new house until they sell the current one. They decide they do have enough money to get a small studio apartment in the meantime, but Violet (the daughter) doesn’t want to move and threatens to run away if they do. Vivien puts the house up for sale anyway.
While the realtor was putting up a for sale sign, Constance walks by the house and sees Tate in the window and waves. When the realtor looks up, she doesn’t see him. (Confirmation that Tate is a ghost, maybe?)
Ben treats a new patient in the house. (Why, it’s Tara’s mom from True Blood!)
Ben tries to pay attention to his patient but she’s super boring and also super depressed at how super boring she is. It doesn’t help that the maid spiked the coffee he was drinking either, so he falls asleep during the session. When he wakes up, he’s in the yard with a shovel next to him and his patient is gone.
Ben goes back inside the house and the young maid tries to lure Ben with her feminine maid-like wiles.
But Ben knows he’s been drugged. He also notices the tape recorder he uses for his sessions is gone. So, he gets pissed, blames the maid, and tries to fire her. But the maid says that Ben was the one that made a pass at her and if she loses her job, she’ll press charges.
While Vivien was working in the garden, a trolley tour of L.A. murder sites stops in front of the house. She decides to take the tour herself to hear what they are saying about the house.
She learns that an unsuccessful doctor performed abortions to make ends meet in the house with the help of his wife in the 1920s. (Enough prepositional phrases for you? Also, can there BE any more murders in this house?) After the story, Vivien notices blood on her pants. She runs inside the house because she’s worried she’s having another miscarriage. Once she gets in the house, she stops bleeding. Hmmmm.
Later on, Ben finds Hayden, the woman he had an affair with, waiting in his home.
(That picture isn’t from the episode, it’s just so you know what she looks like.)
She didn’t get the abortion after all, and she’s moving out to California so Ben can support her. She’s a total nut job and threatens to tell Vivian about the baby. Ben gets her out of the house by making a date to meet and talk with her later.
In the meantime, Ben passes out again (say whaaa?) and when he wakes up, he’s outside snuggling with the shovel again. He also started digging a hole in the yard but he doesn’t remember doing it.
A detective visits Ben to tell him that his boring patient committed suicide and that she had taken his tape recorder. While the cop is over, he sees the young maid. Then, it’s mentioned that women can see a person’s soul and men only see what they want to see. (Now we know why Ben sees the young maid and everyone else sees the old maid.) Also, I hope this is true in real life because that means I can get fat and ugly and it won’t matter.
With all the police stuff going on at the house, Ben forgets his meeting with his other baby-mama. She gets pissed that he didn’t show and comes to the house again to tell Vivian about the baby. That’s when Larry, the creepy dude with the burned face that warned Ben about the house in the first episode, shows up out of nowhere and hits her in the face with a shovel. Then Larry helps Ben dispose of the body.
(Didn’t make that up, he really asked for $1000 to start his acting career. WTF?)
Good thing Ben’s been passing out and digging holes in the yard already. This works out perfectly for burying bodies!
While digging the hole, Ben and Larry find the remains of someone wearing a maid’s uniform. Seems totally normal to dig a hole and find a grave already there, that’s what I say.
So, Ben and Larry dump the body of the baby-mama in the hole on top of the other remains, cover it up with dirt, then cement, and build the fastest gazebo ever on top of it. Constance and the maid watch from the window and Constance mentions that the maid will never be able to leave now. (Confirmation that the maid is a ghost and bound to the house like Tate, maybe?)
Alright, so I didn’t LOVE this episode. But I did think it was cool that we’re already getting some answers to some of the stuff going on. What did you think?