Crap from my Phone

I take a lot of pictures with my phone. Then, a couple weeks later I’ll go through them, wonder why I took them in the first place, and delete them. Today I thought, “hey, I have a blog and can put those crappy pictures on there.” So I this is the start of a random pictures post on a sorta regular basis but not really because once I say it will be regular, it won’t be.

1. Here are two guys I was standing behind in line to get food. They are both playing the same game. With each other.

2. The cover of a Highlights magazine I found during my beach weekend. I don’t want to call alarm to anything, but that kid is sitting on a floating balloon and there are weeds growing in the pool.

3. This menu, also from the beach condo weekend. If you don’t see it right away, then we can’t be friends.

4. I went out with some friends on Friday. I’m a real entertainer as you can see. Who wants to hang out with me?

5. While I was out, I ordered a Three Olives Loopy and club soda (don’t judge, alcoholic fruit loops is the best). The server asked me if I wanted a lemon or a lime and I told her to surprise me.

The joke was on her because I ate that and it was delicious.

6. And lastly, hubs sent me this the other day and it made me laugh enough that I saved it on my phone.

Hope you’re all having a good week! 🙂

10 Things about Me

I’m seeing a lot these “things about me” posts going around Facebook. People are writing novels about themselves in status updates. Get a blog people! Ain’t nobody got time for that. Still, it sounds like fun, so I’m going to do 10 things you may not know about me. But on a blog. Where it belongs.

1. I had an entire wedding planned in Orlando – chapel, venue, photographer, caterer, all of it – and then cancelled everything six months prior and went to Vegas instead.

Totally worth it.

2. I had never heard of brown recluse spiders until hubs told me about them a few years ago. Now I think every brown spider I see is a brown recluse and it freaks.me.out. He often says he wishes he never said anything. That’s how bad it is. So, whatever you do, don’t Google brown recluse spider bites. *shudder*

3. I’ve never been out of the United States unless you cound the Bahamas, which I don’t, because the Bahamas is just sub-Florida.

See? Sub-Florida.

4. I’ve known my best friend for 30 years and we still talk and hang out all the time.

We had to fight them off with a stick back then.

5. If I could move anywhere in the U.S., I would move to Reno, Nevada. I love it there. It’s the perfect mix of big city and small town life. Plus, mountains. Mountains, people!

Almost broke my ass snowboarding that day, so that won’t happen again. I will look at the mountains instead of falling down them.

6. I own at least 50 bottles of nail polish.

7. My first job was at a small movie theatre in McHenry, IL. My dad parked across the street, pointed at the Now Hiring sign, and told me to go get a job. When I mentioned that I was 15 years old, he told me, “Well then tell them you’re 16!” So I did, got the job within 10 minutes, and worked there the whole summer.

8. The first time I shaved my legs was for a Belinda Carlise concert, even though my step-mom tried to talk me out of it. Belinda is worth shaving legs for. #fact

9. I shower by candlelight in the morning because turning on lights right after I wake up makes me angry. I have a much better morning if I turn on the lights after I shower and brush my teeth.

10. Whenever I take a personality test, I always rate as an introvert, which no one that’s met me seems to believe because I never stop talking.

What is something people might not know about you?

The Most Popular

Maybe this is just a blogger thing, but I love to hear about blog statistics of other bloggers. Is that just a blogger thing? Probably. Anyway, I thought it would be fun to do a post of some of my blog statistics. So, pull those pants up real high and get ready cuz this is going to get interesting. Or possibly super boring.

Blog Facts:

That’s the number of posts I’ve published since I started this blog in November 2010, not including about five that I’ve deleted (like the accent vlog that was going around) because I thought they were lame.

That’s how many comments have been made on the blog since it started. That includes my responses to comments, so they’re probably mostly mine. 🙂

That’s the most comments I’ve received on one post, my first full marathon recap.

That’s the number of American Horror Story recaps that are in my top 20 most popular posts of all time. Incidentally, when I publish a new recap, it has very low page views but the searches for it are high and continue all year long.

That’s how many races I’ve run since starting this blog.

That’s how many of the 23 races I’ve ran that were half marathons. Half marathons 14 through 16 are coming up soon!

That’s how many views my most popular post has gotten since I posted it on April 16, 2011.

That’s how many views my second most popular post has gotten, which is more than my About page. Recently, it has been my most viewed daily post, even if I post something new.

Speaking of About pages, they are usually a bloggers most viewed page. It’s my 6th most viewed.

That’s how many people have found my blog with my most popular search term, “American Horror Story maid.” This is the picture all the pervs are clicking on with that search. Even more people (too many to count without losing sanity) have found my blog from searching a dozen variations of “American Horror Story maid,” like “maid American Horror Story” or “maid from American Horror Story.”

That search term has trumped my second highest search term, “eat watch run.” Yes, there are people that Google search my blog name every day. The fact that anyone can remember to read a blog without marking it as a favorite or putting it in a reader is super impressive to me.

That’s the number of people that have found my blog by searching, “unicorn poop cupcakes.” Tasty.

***

Alright, that’s all I got for you today. Hopefully you are still awake.

How do you read blogs? (I have all the blogs I read (about 50 of them!) in Google Reader.)

 

 

 

Things That Make You Go Hmm

This week has been extremely busy. Lots of working. And then lots of working when I get home from work. Then there’s the squeezing in time for workouts and after that there’s not room for much else. I had a few awesome runs this week and I’m hoping that’s good karma for my long run this Saturday. But I’ll talk about that later. First, we need to talk about this stuff.

1.  I know I mentioned this on Twitter and Facebook the other day, but I think it’s worth mentioning again.

I can’t even come up with a more unlikely couple in my head, that’s how much this threw me. And they met because they collaborated on a song for her upcoming record. Now, I can’t stop combining Nickelback and Avril Lavigne songs in my head to see what I come up with.

2.  I subscribe to Goop (Gwyneth Paltrow’s blog) because I love her posts about movie premieres and traveling abroad. Recently, I found out she sells various clothing items on the site including the limited edition “Goop tee.” It’s only sold in one size (small!) and for a bargain price, so I thought you guys might want in on it.

I hope that t-shirt is made out of rare baby seals for $90.00.

3.  I was shopping in the  accessory section on the Forever 21 Web site when I noticed this.

Another good deal right there. $2.80 plus shipping and handling and maybe you’ll get your Sour Patch Kids craving satisfied in 7-9 business days.

4.  I follow Alec Baldwin on Twitter. While I was in Texas, he tweeted a bunch of question marks and within 7 minutes, his tweet had THIRTY NINE re-tweets.

Who re-tweets that stuff? Why doesn’t anyone re-tweet all my question marks? I just checked today and that tweet is up to 87 re-tweets, which tells us that there are 87 confirmed idiots on Twitter.

5.  Did you know Megan Mullally is married to Nick Offerman from Parks and Recreation? I didn’t. But you know how I found out? Michelle emailed me this:

I’m thinking of replicating that with the hubs.

*****

Normally, I would link to past Things That Make You Go Hmm posts but I’m too lazy today. If you need more of this ridiculousness, click the category on the right-hand side bar of the blog and enjoy. 🙂

And lastly, thanks to my friend Sara, I now have 35 (more) reasons to love Aaron Paul.

I’m just a little offended they stopped at 35.

The Laminated List

I had a Twitter conversation with Jackie and Carolina today. We got in a little disagreement about which one of us was going to “comfort” Robert Pattinson in his hour of need. After all, KStew cheated on him, he’s officially on the market, and we need to get in while the gettin’s good. That boy isn’t gonna stay single for long.

It got a little ugly for awhile.

[blackbirdpie id=”228558840973623296″]

[blackbirdpie id=”228559354067034113″]

[blackbirdpie id=”228559292112977920″]

 

I assured them both that my hubs respects the Laminated List. (You know, the list of celebrities you’re allowed to “comfort” in their time of need if you should ever meet them.) Jackie thinks the Laminated List isn’t official unless you blog about it.

[blackbirdpie id=”228559766635556865″]

 

So here I am claiming what is rightfully (not really) mine. I give you my official (male) laminated list.

Robert Downey, Jr.

I’ve pretty much loved him since Less Than Zero. That’s 1987, my friends. I’ve put 25 years of hard love into this guy. I even paid to see Soapdish in the theatre…twice. He’s the only thing that made Ally McBeal good after season 1 and I officially forgive him for anything he’s done wrong, like heroine, waking up in stranger’s beds, dating Sarah Jessica Parker, dying his hair blonde, and that horrific movie with Halle Berry.

Christian Slater*

He was on my list back in the Heathers/Legend of Billie Jean days. Then Pump Up the Volume came out and I thought I was going to die. Die from love. Then he fell off my radar because he wasn’t really staring in anything and I forgot about him. But after Breaking In (which was cancelled…twice), I think it’s safe to put him back in a permanent position. Plus, there is a weird amount of pictures of him on Google hugging puppies which makes him more awesome.

Aaron Paul

Aaron Paul is the newest edition to the list. He’s so adorable on Breaking Bad that I had to add him. (And he just got another Emmy nomination for the show.) Plus, the fact that he was a contestant on The Price is Right makes him even more adorable. I could talk about him forever, but you’re all probably sick of that by now.

Jensen Ackles

I started watching Supernatural because I loved him from Day of our Lives. So my love goes back to when I was a horny little 13-year-old girl. But really, look at him. I don’t think he needs explanation.

Robert Pattinson

The one who started this whole mess to begin with. Not only do I blame him for this post, but I also blame him for killing off important brain cells just putting this post together. But I just can’t help but love him. In a really creepy cougar kinda way. And no, that mustache won’t stop me.

In the end, Jackie, Carolina, and I decided we still wanted to be friends and we’d just become Sister Wives to RPattz instead. Who’s on your laminated list?

*****

*I reserve the right to swap Christian Slater out with any other celebrity** without notice.

 

**Any other celebrity includes but is not limited to Jimmy Fallon, Joseph Gordon Levitt, Gavin Rossdale, Brandon Boyd (when showered), David Beckham, James Franco, Dave Franco, any other Franco brother that I may not know about, and Paul Rudd. This is my blog, I can do what I want.

 

A Hot Date

After work today, hubs and I went to our martial arts fitness class. The owner’s of the school where we take our class have a sugar glider that stays in the office there. Her name is Amelia AirBear and we had a hot date planned with her after class.

Our date started off with a little dinner.

Ok, she had dinner and we watched. Let her lick Chobani off your hand and she’s good to go. She’s low maintenance and I like that in a girl.

She let me know that she was done with dinner by peeing all over me. I could have done without that part. I mean, this is the first date after all. Usually I don’t let that happen until the third.

Just when I thought we were bonding, she tried to make a play for my man.

That little hussy gets around! She was jumping all over the place. I thought we had a connection with the dinner/peeing thing, but I guess she just likes to spread the love. After she was done with the hubs, she jumped back on me. That girl moves fast. As you can see, we have already gotten to second base.

But then she let us know the date was over by hiding in a towel and waiting for us to leave.

I felt so used. But it was worth it.

When we got home, Pants was super jealous that we played with someone else.

Thanks, Pants. I feel the love.

*****

Have you ever played with a sugar glider? I gotta say, the jumping thing and the little crazy claws freaked me out a little bit. There may or may not have been a screech from me at one point.  But Amelia is super cute and I think I’m ready for our second date. 😉

Welcome to My Blog Search Term Guy IV

If you’re new to my blog, every now and then I like to pick the most interesting search terms that have found my blog and welcome those searchers. I hope you found what you were looking for – especially whoever searched “I love to come home and eat alone.” Me too, buddy. Me too.

1.  How many miles does it take to walk off 3282 calories?

Wow. That is a pretty specific calorie count. But I like that you have goals and are willing to Google for them instead of say, standing up and walking somewhere. Unfortunately, all I can think about is how I want to be your friend, if you share food, and what you just ate.

2.  What+can+i+buy+so+my+thighs+don’t+rub+while+running

 

3.  Irritated graph

I can’t think of a post that would lead to this search term, so in an effort to not disappoint the next person:

4.  Poo porn

I googled this to see what could have possibly come up related to my blog. Let’s just say that wasn’t the best idea at work. On an almost unrelated note, I heard a radio commercial for “Bear Skin” condoms on the radio during a workout the other week. I thought that couldn’t possibly be comfortable until my personal trainer assured me it was spelled b-a-r-e.

5.  Worst photos ever taken

 That’s a little extreme, don’t you think?

I think you can stop acting like a bunny tramp.

****************

If you’ve missed any of the last search term posts, you can check them out here:
Post 1
Post 2
Post 3 

🙂

Break Out the Boos

I just got boo-ed at work today.

Does anyone else do this at their work? You get a cheap, cute little Halloween gift from an annoymous co-worker. Once you get a gift, you pay it forward and do the same thing annoymously for another co-worker that hasn’t already been boo-ed. Only thing is…this gift wasn’t cheap. And the boo-er seems to know me TOO well.

 A boo-er that knows the way to my heart.

And he or she knows how to treat my little, fluffy girl right.

I’m pretty sure the hubs is in cahoots with this boo-er because he asked me to come to his desk to tell me some random ass story. I was like, “Really? This is why you asked me to walk over here?” When I came back to my desk…bam! I was boo-ed all over the place. Hubs won’t admit he knows anything but I know he’s in on it somehow.

Speaking of hubs and my fluffy one, I know this is a repeat picture, but it’s so dang cute I’m going to post it again.

Caught in the Act

That is no way for a lady to behave.

Things That Make You Go Hmmm

1.  I was on the blog’s Facebook page today and noticed something new.

Seventeen people are talking about this. What does that mean? Are 84 people not talking about this? And if so, why not? Why aren’t you all talking about this?!

2.  My friend, Tiffany, has told me to call her for days now. I finally called her tonight and she didn’t answer the phone.

3. Kat Von D is coming out with an album. It’s described as tragically romantic. Who thought it was a good idea to green light that one?

Now that I see that picture, I think she’s kinda hot. I probably would have green lit the album too.

4. Kurt Cobain and Courtney Love’s daughter, Francis Bean, is 19 years old and just bought a 1.8 million dollar home in LA. She’s hot too.

(source)

Is everyone hot? How is she 19 already?

5. There’s a new 10-calorie Dr. Pepper out there that’s only for men.  (Thanks to Matt for pointing that out on the FB page.) WTF? I’ve been drinking them all week.

6. Leonardo DiCaprio and Blake Lively broke up after 5 months of dating. Doesn’t he normally date girls for 5 years and then dump them?

(source)

7.